Alcoholics Anonymous On the serious tip, here’s how to find help for alcoholism every day of the week in Shanghai, with new friends ready to support you. May 28, Community ” Communities ” is our regular column about just that. It is everything you need to know about a given social organization, group, charity, club, etc. They say Hong Kong is heaven for the rich and hell for the poor. Shanghai is hell for those with addictive personalities. There’s always something going on – free drinks here, another party there…and little forethought to the consequences. Most of us don’t have parents or other family in town, and there’s no laws against drinking in public. The drink is cheap, and available anywhere.
The following are the original twelve steps as published by Alcoholics Anonymous: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
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Those who are or have been in recovery and part of a 12 Step fellowship are probably familiar with the 13th Step in Recovery. The 13th Step in Recovery Defined The 13th Step in Recovery is not actually part of the formal 12 Steps of AA Alcoholics Anonymous , NA Narcotics Anonymous , or CA Cocaine Anonymous but is a slang term that is tossed around by members that refers to people with significant time in sobriety hitting on or dating newcomers — those who are brand new or relatively new to the fellowship, and therefore sobriety.
Dating in Recovery There are no dating rules in 12 Step fellowships; however, it is strongly suggested to wait a full year before engaging in an intimate relationship with anyone. The idea behind this is, when you are new to sobriety, you have a lot of personal issues to work on and getting into a relationship right away can derail your program. As alcoholics and addicts, we often deal with other issues such as codependency and low self-esteem.
Implications of the 13th Step in Recovery Those who engage in the 13th Step in Recovery are seen as engaging in predatory behavior which takes advantage of the emotional instability of newcomers to the fellowship. Newcomers should be able to find safe harbor in one of the fellowships from the emotional turmoil of their recent past-lives in active addiction. Thirteen Stepping, as it is also called, creates a differing power ratio where someone is gaining power over someone who is weaker, and it can endanger the sobriety of both parties.
It is important to keep in mind that it is not a gender-specific phenomenon; all sexes and gender preferences can be predators. Early sobriety demands all of your attention. By 13th Stepping someone, they are not able to feel safe in the meetings. Progress in recovery means living an honest and ethical life.
Alcoholism and Alcoholics Anonymous in U. At least 34 Hollywood films were made between The Lost Weekend and Days of Wine and Roses with an alcoholic as a major character; six depicted an Alcoholics Anonymous-like self-help organization. Presentations of alcoholism’s origin as mysterious competed with psychodynamic interpretations and situational explanations, often in the same film and sometimes concerning the same character. As paths to recovery, willpower and mutual help were each frequently shown, while neither professional treatment nor AA’s spiritual side were often shown.
For the women alcoholics 17 of 39 depicted , drinking went with sexuality, while for men it replaced it. These writers, actors and directors were drawn from the “wet generations” of middle-class youth, who had adopted heavy drinking in their college years as a generational revolt against “Victorian morality”.
They are what I have seen in AA over and over. This article does not apply to nor is it written of the true and miraculous program of fellowship called AA with it’s actual 12 steps. When sick alcoholics use their spiritual deficit to create rules and regulations based in character defects the false AA then appears. These false rules geared in and around the people of AA become a false doctrine to worship. False doctrines occur in any group of humans who subconsciously relish religious error and mistake spirituality for legalism.
Why would we of AA be any different than typical religion? So of course we have dogma and error in the rooms. This article is to expose that error. Fake responsibility pledge A A.
John Bradshaw wrote that we can get addicted to negative emotions as they release powerful chemicals in the brain dopamine, adrenaline, endorphins This can cause us to become an internal drug addict. I knew that I was a “Type T” personality risk taker.
As a member you can join the free dating, upload housing ads, write reviews and more. [Communities]: Alcoholics Anonymous. started in by a doctor and a businessman – both alcoholics. There are no rules in A.A. and the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Membership is free, and there is no application form.
Twelve Steps To Danger: June 25, In the spring of , Karla Brada Mendez finally seemed happy. She was 31 and in love, eager to move ahead on the path to maturity — marriage, a family, stability. Her 20s had been rough, a struggle with depression, anxiety, alcohol and drugs. Their relationship blossomed as the couple attended Alcoholics Anonymous meetings several times a week.
Court records show that Eric Allen Earle repeatedly relapsed and turned violent when drunk, lashing out at family members, his ex-wife and people close to him. By the time he and Karla crossed paths, judges had granted six restraining orders against him. The year-old sometime electrician had been convicted on dozens of criminal charges, mostly involving assault and driving under the influence. Unlike Karla, Earle was not attending AA meetings voluntarily.
In that regard, Earle was part of a national trend. Many are drunken drivers ordered to attend a few months of meetings. Others are felons whose records include sexual offenses and domestic violence and who choose AA over longer prison sentences.
No one understands the journey to sobriety as well as someone who has been through it, and studies have shown that having a sponsor early on in recovery reduces the chance of relapse and decreases the likelihood of dropping out of recovery process. What is a sponsor? A sponsor is another person in recovery further along in the process who acts as a recovery coach of sorts, sharing their experiences and understanding of the program to help newcomers get and stay sober.
A sponsor is a confidante you can call if you feel the urge to drink or use drugs and need support and encouragement. While a sponsor may wear many hats — mentor, friend, confidante and role model — the purpose of the relationship remains the same:
Through the Alcoholic Anonymous 12 steps meetings, new members of the group are often able to identify similarities in messages that other alcoholics share within the group, resulting in the realization and admission that they themselves have a problem with alcohol.
Newly sober single alcoholics and addicts, though, are better off staying on the sidelines. Many people enjoy the honeymoon phase of relationships, feeling euphoria from the new love, making it more challenging to address issues that underlie the addiction. Many people in sobriety join a step program, such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous, both of which recommend following spiritual principles and stress the belief in a higher power as a path to recovery.
A new relationship can also become a distraction from the spiritual aspects of recovery, says Anita Gadhia-Smith , a therapist who practices in the District of Columbia and Bethesda, Maryland. Nonetheless, many newly sober single people ignore the advice to stay single for a year, clinicians say. You know what I miss? You know what I want? A night I regret. About a decade after her first try, she returned to support group meetings to again try to get sober, though she remained skeptical about the advice to abstain from dating for a year.
But alcohol had been an escape from my body and my insecurities, [and] it took a long time for me to feel comfortable being known and seen. A lot of the qualities a woman needs to date successfully — a sense of her own worth, proper boundaries, trust in her own gut — those had been plowed down by years of excessive drinking, and they took a long time to grow back. Will you feel comfortable at a bar? At a party where everyone else is drinking?
I was like a vampire in the first year.
SHARE Although studying creativity is considered a legitimate scientific discipline nowadays, it is still a very young one. In the early s, a psychologist named J. Guilford was one of the first academic researchers who dared to conduct a study of creativity. He challenged research subjects to connect all nine dots using just four straight lines without lifting their pencils from the page. Today many people are familiar with this puzzle and its solution.
Excerpted from Girlfriend of Bill: 12 Things You Need to Know about Dating Someone in Recovery by Karen Nagy. Nagy is a college professor, actor, and songwriter. She wrote this, her first book, based on her own dating experience and love of the Twelve Steps.
I found the men had taken more time to write more thought into their profiles and appeared to know what they wanted. I had wrote a profile, from the heart some time ago, but had not signed up due to career demands and to be blunt, I had grown tired of the online dating world as it seemed to bring negative people and experiences in my life. After 20 some years of taking care of others, I took a brief break, this brought new positive people and style of thinking into mhy life.
A very warm inviting man had wrote me a brief note, and did not ask what I looked like upfront. I found that most of the profiles were looking for a slave as well, or maybe needed the assistance of a mail order bride service. Others were upfront expressed they had been burned by the ex, so I avoided joining for that reason. The whole double life, having online affairs and folks looking for revenge sex was not my interest as I am too Catholic for that drama.
One should spend more time in the stirrups on the horse than in the clinical setting. This gentleman, seemed honest, had established balance between the demands of work and life, practised the faith, and was not pushy. This was the influence that I felt would also be a role model for myself as I had left a toxic employer full of toxic employees. What seemed like a soul mate encounter turned dark very fast, as I had been applying for employment everywhere, when we met I was upfront about this situation thinking he was understanding and still seemed interesting in getting to know me.
There are some of us there who are honest, practise the faith, and unfortunately for the sake of your convenience have to relocate for employment.
In most organizations and social groups, a sponsor is someone who initially introduces you into the group and who vouches for you good character etc. This is not the case in Alcoholics Anonymous AA. An AA sponsor is a person who has been abstinent for a long period and who is prepared to support a newly abstinent member. The sponsorship idea is an integral part of the Alcoholics Anonymous set up, and part of its social support network.
Although there are no set rules for picking a sponsor, here are some tips to help you find the most beneficial match possible. Attend Step Meetings For some, the prospect of finding a sponsor can feel like a daunting experience, akin to dating.
I googled it myself, and found some of the answers to be well off the course: Blatant sexual harassment and abuse is a more severe form of 13 stepping. As we all know, the only requirement of AA is a desire to stop drinking. Newcomers often feel shaken and desperate, and they come to AA seeking help for an illness that they come to believe that they are powerless over.
The result is sexual and sometimes financial exploitation of vulnerable members. You need another alcoholic just as much as he needs you! It is also strongly suggested during meetings and in rehabilitation centers to seek out a sponsor. There is no requirement for sponsorship. It is very important to note and understand that a sponsor does not receive any formal training as a drug counselor, licensed therapist, or ordained minister. They are recovering alcoholics and that is all!
However, it is common for a sponsor to take on the above roles, as well as one of a life coach. This could lead to controlling situations and sponsor abuse. There are no background checks in Alcoholics Anonymous and anonymity is encouraged.
While some people can easily relate to and embrace the fact that everyone has a past, others can find it hard to reconcile the two. Dos Assess His Sobriety: Addiction leaves behind some pretty unique baggage.
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Many of us find ourselves with little social contact, except for those in meetings, etc. I am one of those people dedicated to sobriety that did ignore that rule, and luckily it did work out for us. Yes, I ignored the rule, but I am still in that healthy, sober relationship to this day 4 years and counting!
I agree that the added support and understanding that we gave each other made this easier, not harder, to maintain sobriety. I have rarely seen it work and often seen it be the cause of pain and suffering. Sometimes this is hard for people to accept and some seem to recognize it quite readily. The tendency to allow others to be a solution to our problems is common and dangerous.
He founded two churches in which to practice this religion: After all, no one is perfect. The alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot Big Book p. The group held immediate appeal for many people for many reasons.
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Saturday 9 May It is tacitly accepted that it’s beyond reproach and must do nothing but good, probably because we have all at least heard of someone who swears by it. But AA and the 12 Step approach to addiction recovery it pioneered and patented is currently very much in the dock. A number of ex-members and addiction treatment professionals have accused it of having cult-like qualities and using brainwashing and bullying methods that weak and vulnerable people are particularly susceptible to.
Which is good to know when you consider that there are currently 3, AA groups in the UK, and counting. The ever-expanding world of 12 Step Recovery is hugely successful for a lot of people – according to research by Dr Bryan Hore at the University Hospital of South Manchester, 12 Step has a success rate of as high as 70 per cent.